Parenting an autistic child comes with its fair share of challenges. At any given moment, your mind is brimming with questions – “Why is my child struggling with basic words?” or “Why is my child getting upset over the texture of their mac n cheese?” These questions can overwhelm you and make you feel lost or even hopeless.
Understanding the challenges of your autistic child is the first step toward helping them navigate their world.
Behavioral Challenges
Behavior problems can be hard on both the child and the parents. Here are some examples:
- Aggression towards others
- Sudden outburst, crying, or screaming
- Repetitive behaviors, such as spinning or flapping hands
- Wandering off without supervision
- Overreaction and underreaction to sensory input, such as loud noise, bright lights, and certain textures
- Refusal to follow instructions
- Resistance to change in routine
What You Can Do
Handling behavioral challenges requires patience and strategies tailored to your child’s needs. Rather than trying to “fix” the problem, you should focus on helping them manage their emotions.
Start by identifying frequent triggers and patterns and try your best to eliminate them. Create a structured routine for your autistic child to help reduce uncertainty. Provide a sensory-friendly environment for your child. There is no harm in dimming the living room lights or giving them noise-canceling headphones when you’re using the blender.
Calm your autistic child during a meltdown by providing reassurance rather than reasoning.
Speech Challenges
Many children with ASD face delays in language development and speech formation. These challenges can manifest in various forms, such as:
Stuttering
Stuttering or disfluency is a speech disorder commonly seen in children with ASD. They might repeat certain words and phrases and prolong sounds. Many autistic children also use excessive filler words, avoid certain words, and face difficulty maintaining speech flow.
Phonological Disorders
Phonological disorder is a form of speech sound disorder.
They might use the wrong sound in a word, such as saying “doe” instead of “go” or leave out a consonant sound like saying “at” instead of “hat.” Autistic children also have difficulty saying “s” or “r.”
Apraxia of Speech
Apraxia of speech is a motor speech disorder where a person struggles to plan and execute the necessary mouth movements to produce the sounds of speech. In simple words, your child knows what they want to say but struggles to physically form the words coherently or consistently.
Echolalia
Many autistic children use echolalia, which refers to the repetitive echoing of words or phrases spoken by others. Some children use immediate echolalia, which is repeating the words right after hearing them. Whereas, others repeat words at a later time, known as delayed echolalia.
What You Can Do
The idea of not being able to express your feelings and thoughts can lead to frustration and significantly affect social skills.
To handle language challenges, use clear, simple words when communicating with your child. Repeat keywords and phrases to help them learn through repetition and modeling. Consider using visual cues, such as pictures and flashcards to support what you’re saying.
Consulting with a speech therapist or a speech-language pathologist is one of the best decisions you’ll make for your child’s growth. They will focus on improving motor planning, developing strategies for better speech clarity, and improving your child’s pronunciation through practice. They’ll also incorporate play-based therapy to incorporate language learning into everyday activities.
Non-verbal Communication Hurdles
Autistic children face numerous non-verbal communication hurdles. They struggle to read facial expressions and body language. Your child might not understand that you’re smiling to convey happiness, opening arms to welcome them, or frowning to show unhappiness.
Autistic children also struggle with:
- Maintaining eye contact
- Gestures, such as waving, pointing, or nodding
- Recognizing variations in tone, such as sarcasm, excitement, or sadness
- Inability to make situation-appropriate facial expressions
What You Can Do
Use tools like visual aids, dedicated ASD devices, and sign language to demonstrate words. Consider exaggerating your hand gestures to teach body language.
Showing your child pictures of people exhibiting varying emotions can be an effective solution. Start with basic facial expressions, such as happy, sad, or angry, before moving towards more complex ones, such as embarrassed or shy.
Lastly, recognize their small achievements and appreciate them. Saying phrases like, “Good job” and “I’m proud of you” even when your child waves at someone will reinforce their behavior.
Social Communication
Understanding and conforming to social cues is one of the biggest challenges faced by people with ASD. Here are some examples:
Difficulty in Conversation
Autistic children often struggle with starting, maintaining, and ending conversations, be it with class fellows or caregivers. They might not understand when to change a topic or how to take turns speaking in a conversation.
Anxiety in Social Situations
Going up to an age-mate and striking a conversation doesn’t come easy to children with autism. They can feel overwhelmed in a group setting and recluse to a corner.
Literal Thinking
Autistic children struggle with understanding implied meaning. They often take figurative language and idioms literally, unable to grasp the social context.
Difficulty Making Friends
When a child struggles with understanding social norms, such as sharing or small talk, they might have difficulty making friends. Open-ended socializing is challenging for them.
Difficulty Recognizing Personal Space
Nearly 79% of children with autism are prone to personal space invasions. Here’s how it can manifest:
- Standing too close to someone.
- Not recognizing when someone is uncomfortable.
- Touching someone in an unusual way.
- Be unaware that they are making too much noise or moving a lot.
What You Can Do
The first thing you should do is understand that fitting into social norms isn’t necessary for your child’s happiness, but strong communication can help them make meaningful connections. Here are some ways you can improve your child’s social skills:
- Focus on their strengths and interests. Facilitate conversation around topics they’re most interested in and get them to meet like-minded people.
- Teach social skills through role-playing. Common social scenarios include greeting someone, asking for help, or joining a group.
- Use social scripts to help your child prepare for social interactions and to make them less intimidating.
- Narrate social experiences as they happen, like saying “I smiled at the waiter to show them appreciation for bringing our food.”
- Arrange low-pressure playdates to help your child practice social skills in a controlled, familiar environment.
Looking Ahead
Every child is different, and finding what works for them might take time. Understand that your child’s “unusual” fears and behaviors are often their way of communicating needs or discomfort. Take active steps to create an environment where they feel safe and supported.